3 Minute Hero Hitch your star to our wagon of poor decisions.

17Apr/140

Works in Progress #11: Okoboji Volcano [Parts 2 & 3]

goat.small

goat.smallWhat is the price of living in paradise? I'm not talking about dollars or rubles. I'm talking about the trade-offs. Some live in the shadow of volcanoes. Others live on active fault lines. Some of us even live in St. Paul. Regardless, Fate's drunk ass invariably shows up at our door demanding that which we thought was ours and when she does, you best have your New Balances laced up, a full tank of gas, and a week's worth of canned goods and bottled water because she is as relentless as she is capricious. This song, "Okoboji Volcano [Parts 2 & 3]" are about living in the shadow of the volcano and about how everything somehow comes together when you need it to. It is to be the first song of the second section of our forthcoming double-album titled "Jumbo Jet Whispers & Thunder Lizard Serenades: The Journey of 3 Minute Hero."

You always knew / What was best.

I took care of today / You took care of the rest.

All our worries: so petty and small --

It's so clear now after the fall,

But how can you know when she's going to blow?

You always knew / What was best about me.

That's why we're here / under the coconut trees.

All our worries: so petty and small --

So clear now after the fall,

But how can you know when she's going to blow?

Breeze blowing in off the ocean -- all right.

Breeze blowing in from the sea -- oh yeah.

Breeze blowing in through the valley and over the darkness of the water.

Breeze blowing in from the mountain -- all right.

Breeze blowing in off the the mountain -- oh yeah.

Hey man, that's not a mountain.

I know that's not a mountain.

We all know that's not a mountain.

All right.

---------

Little baby puff of smoke / Everything is okie-doke.

Grab a bag of avocados then we go home.

Chop an onion, squeeze a lime / Guacamole just in time

for beer, chips, and Apocalypse Now.

Good thing we kept the Vespa and not the goats.

Good thing you took that course on how to fly helicopters.

Bingo-bango: sugar in the gas tank.

Bingo-bango: failure can be so sweet.

Bingo-bango: Okoboji volcano.

Driving here, driving there / Driving with no underwear

Lava lava everywhere / That's a bad poem.

Through the jungle / Through the trees,

Through the ancient idol's knees.

Pretty, pretty, pretty please: let me go home.

Don't stop the carnival but do not look back.

Good thing T.C. showed you how to fly his Island Hopper.

Good thing we built our shack up on high land

Upon the packed down sand

You think we'd understand, but you'd be wrong.

[Chorus]

You always knew / What was best.

You took car of today. / I took care of the rest.

Our daily worries so petty and small --

It's so clear now after the fall,

But how can you know when she's going to blow?

 

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2014 Jeff Nelson.

 

 

31Mar/14Off

3 Minute Hero Announces 2014 Roster

Once again, 3 Minute Hero has eschewed conventional wisdom in fielding a small-market team. "This season we're going to focus on raw power, talent, charisma, and stunning good looks," said band spokeswoman and award-winning historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. She added, "That should provide results more favorable to the band's loyal fan base than when the band's focus was centered more on the consumption of off-brand snack foods and the non-stop viewing of Animal Planet shows." Regardless, fans will know how this strategy is working by the All-Star break.

1. Bryce Blilie - trumpet - ss

2. Dave Kittelson - bass - 2b

3. Jay Kalk - guitar/vox - c

4. Jonathon TeBeest - drums - rf

5. Eric Johnson - trombone - 1b

6. Al "Ice" Berg - keys - lf

7. Jeff Nelson - 2nd trombone/ld.vox - cf

8. Paul Gronert - sax - 3b

note: 3 Minute Hero has no pitchers. Opposing teams are encouraged to bring their own tee.

 

 

 

19Nov/13Off

Thanks Fargo!

fingers!

This past Saturday, we returned to play Fargo for the first time in a long time. How long? Let's just say that if I had actually kept my vow to not trim my fingernails until I played music in Fargo again, this guy would be in second place.

 

fing

Hot. We had a great time and it was ridiculous fun to see so many of you in the same place after so long. Thanks for making the trip out. Thanks to the good people at Dempsey's/The Aquarium, Chris Hennen, Raul Gomez at the High Plains Reader, John Lamb of INFORUM, and the Blilies for the most heavenly brunch in the history of brunches. I ate a serving of cheesy potatoes and thought I saw the face of God, but it was just Paul.

Yours, as always,

Jeff

19Nov/13Off

Works in Progress #10: 800 LB Gorilla (Parts 1 & 2)

Meow kitty!

After singing through the bridge of this song a couple of times last night in practice, Jay asked just exactly what the hell this was about and I launched into an overly descriptive account of a dream I had when I was all of 15. I won't get into details, but I had stayed up late watching "Planet of the Apes" and the movie's parting imagery inspired my subconscious to dream lascivious dreams of an alarmingly come-hither, human-sized Statue of Liberty. This was a vivid memory from a turbulent age -- an age when I came to realize that most of the things I loathed in other people I could conveniently find located squarely in my own thoughts and deeds. That's what this song is about for me: trying to deal with other people's shortcomings while becoming painfully aware of my own -- hating somebody else's behaviors while realizing that I was beginning to adopt those same behaviors because, well, they were effective. Stomping around like an 800 pound gorilla, for instance.

But yes, it's also about how the Statue of Liberty is a woman. With needs.

I've said too much.

 

"Responsible. Just the sound of the word is old hat --

Crazy as a camper full of cats

Crackling with sound and furry

Pounding home that I should scurry.

I know the smell of fear

and smells just like gin and spaghetti.

Good God I'm more than ready

To say as he says and do as he does.

And I'd dearly love to be anywhere but here --

Just drive and drive, but never have to steer.

Run away. Far away.

You don't know where I would fly:

Off the handle?

Out to the zoo?

Mr. Movies is showing me what I can do.

 

I stomp around, I stomp around, I stomp around.

Like an 800 pound gorilla.

I stomp around, I stomp around, I stomp around.

Like I own the town.

Like I'll split the ground.

Like an 800 pound gorilla.

 

Sing song -- King Kong -- damn dirty apes.

Show me the shoreline; I'll show you the shapes:

The copper crown of liberty's shade,

The languid eyes, the serious gaze

Above the fabric dripping down like honey from above,

More than money do I love

That she is French, lives in New York,

Always wears sandals, and carries a torch.

 

I stomp around, I stomp around, I stomp around.

Like an 800 pound gorilla.

I stomp around, I stomp around, I stomp around.

Like I own the town.

Like I'll split the ground.

Like an 800 pound gorilla."

 

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2013 Jeff Nelson.

 

22Oct/13Off

Jason Hoffman knows you left your back door open

Fine Line 1999. Jason Hoffman the original bass player for 3 Minute Hero sings a tune originally written by The Scofflaws. Back Door.

In the beginning of the tune we hear the horns making karate noises as they jump into various poses.

 

 

 

Here are a couple photos taken at a ska fest we played in Moorhead with The Scofflaws back in 1998.

tmh.scof.biceps

Richard "Sammy" Brooks and Jeff

 

tmh.scof.tongues

Buford O’Sullivan and Jeff

 

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10Oct/13Off

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By golly it sure looks like The Head has possessed this here vee-hickel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1Oct/13Off

From the dusty library archives of what is now Minnesota State University Moorhead – A review of Bingo

Oh sweet 16 years ago...

Advocate April 3 1997

The Advocate - Moorhead State University newspaper from April 3 1997

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18Sep/13Off

Who remembers Jonathon when he was a kitty?

3MinuteHero2

Meow!

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20Aug/13Off

Thanks Captain’s!

IMG950249
Well another installment in the continuing story of Captains Getaway gigs is in the books. This year we only played on Saturday night but the place was packed, probably due to the rain outside and no cover to get in, but we'd like to think there were at least 9 people there because they had heard of us before.

On Friday night the "Church of Cash", a Johnny Cash cover band featuring our own Jayder and JT (and EX bass player DAN), rocked out Captains and only had requests to play Folsom Prison Blues 8 times - a good night. I'm still waiting for a reggae version of "Hurt".

Saturday afternoon found Jay, Eric and myself and our respective women on the lake in a rented boat. There was no way I was going to 'Boji with my Captains uniform in tow and not go for a boat ride. Upon discovering a secret cove where all the cool kids hung out, the transmission of our gallant ship of the line refused to engage any of the gears that would make us go forward. With no sail or oars to speak of, First mate Johnson handedly steered the boat backwards out of harms way (harms way consisting of grown men wearing purple body suits as pictured here). I'm sure he'll make someone an excellent First Officer someday.

With no major show hiccups and 3x the volcanoes, we gave Dave his first (and last?) monkey bump in a newly re-finished band house. We instituted and documented "Shart week" and enjoyed each others company talking about the old days, and puke stories, and coors and miller lite.

Who knows what next year will bring? Volcanoes probably.

Signed,
B Rizzo

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1Aug/13Off

Works in Progress #9: Brown Flamingos

George!

I like this song. It makes me happy. It makes me happy for a number of reasons. First, it's a summer song about partying on the beach at the lake when you're not quite sure if you're old enough to be partying with the older kids. And there are little phrases that poke out like wildflowers on a freeway median: "watermelon kisses," "a canvas tent held together by bugspray," "hillbilly arcade." Best of all, we get to hear Jay sing, "some motherfucker stole all of my crayons," which -- to be completely honest -- I feel is worth the price of admission. This song picks up after the campfire scene at the lake in "Crazy Uncle." The party is dying down and the weirdness is about to begin.

Permanent flip-flop tanlines are a sign that you're doing something right:

Your screws are not too loose -- your screws are not too tight.

Don't get mad at me man because I figured it out: I don't want to fight.

Me and her, her and me: I'm afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. Do I mind? Yes I do.

They're playing Whack-a-Yankee down on the beach at the hillbilly arcade.

Her hair smells like the lake and Old Milwaukee.

We're swapping watermelon kisses in a canvas tent held together with bugspray.

Me and her, her and me: I'm afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. Do I mind? Yes I do.

We stick our heads out when we hear a sound like a crashing chandelier.

We see the light and hear a voice that says, "Come on up in here."

And.

We've.

Got.

Brown flamingos, black-and-white rainbows,

Fireworks exploding in sepia-tone.

We've got sunsets rendered in shades of gray.

Hasta la vista, amarillo.

Good-bye red and good-bye blue --

They have gone so very far away.

This is not about life lived without love:

Some motherfucker stole all of my crayons.

We're going to find him: we're going to make him pay.

___

Are you ready for volcanoes?

Are you ready for King Kong?

Are you ready for the bats that live in your hats

And magical creatures gone wrong?

The answer is "No" so don't be slow -- it's just a fortune cookie song about

Me and her, her and me. I'm afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. That won't do.

Me and her, her and me, I'm afraid to disagree.

You and her, her and you. Well then I do.

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2013 Jeff Nelson.