Works in Progress #3

Everybody has a crazy uncle. And if not an actual crazy uncle, then at least a “crazy uncle.” Ten-four?

“Hold my calls.

I’m polishing the balls…

…On an equestrian statue of Andrew Jackson’s horse —

If you know what I mean.

Things aren’t always quite as they seem.

Thank God.

Thank God.

Thank God almighty I can see myself in the gleam.”

What in the hell does that even mean? I don’t know, but I do remember hearing a story about how the freshmen at some college or military school would traditionally polish the testicles on one of the horse statues on campus, which struck me as brilliantly subversive. It’s not vandalism — it’s bringing something completely natural to light but makes it ludicrous by pulling it out of context without hurting anybody or anything. And that is the perfect joke: refulgent, gleaming, sparkling horse balls for all to see.

“Crazy Uncle” is a song about the people I know who are fortunate enough to see life like this as their default setting — people who can perform these feats of inversion and subversion while making others vaguely uncomfortable. It’s also about a magical blender and a gym bag full of mystical talismans, but that is neither here not there.

Happy December,



All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2011 Jeff Nelson.