Works in Progress #9: Brown Flamingos

I like this song. It makes me happy. It makes me happy for a number of reasons. First, it’s a summer song about partying on the beach at the lake when you’re not quite sure if you’re old enough to be partying with the older kids. And there are little phrases that poke out like wildflowers on a freeway median: “watermelon kisses,” “a canvas tent held together by bugspray,” “hillbilly arcade.” Best of all, we get to hear Jay sing, “some motherfucker stole all of my crayons,” which — to be completely honest — I feel is worth the price of admission. This song picks up after the campfire scene at the lake in “Crazy Uncle.” The party is dying down and the weirdness is about to begin.

Permanent flip-flop tanlines are a sign that you’re doing something right:

Your screws are not too loose — your screws are not too tight.

Don’t get mad at me man because I figured it out: I don’t want to fight.

Me and her, her and me: I’m afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. Do I mind? Yes I do.

They’re playing Whack-a-Yankee down on the beach at the hillbilly arcade.

Her hair smells like the lake and Old Milwaukee.

We’re swapping watermelon kisses in a canvas tent held together with bugspray.

Me and her, her and me: I’m afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. Do I mind? Yes I do.

We stick our heads out when we hear a sound like a crashing chandelier.

We see the light and hear a voice that says, “Come on up in here.”

And.

We’ve.

Got.

Brown flamingos, black-and-white rainbows,

Fireworks exploding in sepia-tone.

We’ve got sunsets rendered in shades of gray.

Hasta la vista, amarillo.

Good-bye red and good-bye blue —

They have gone so very far away.

This is not about life lived without love:

Some motherfucker stole all of my crayons.

We’re going to find him: we’re going to make him pay.

___

Are you ready for volcanoes?

Are you ready for King Kong?

Are you ready for the bats that live in your hats

And magical creatures gone wrong?

The answer is “No” so don’t be slow — it’s just a fortune cookie song about

Me and her, her and me. I’m afraid I disagree.

You and her, her and you. That won’t do.

Me and her, her and me, I’m afraid to disagree.

You and her, her and you. Well then I do.

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2013 Jeff Nelson.

Works in Progress #1

Do you like to be kept abreast? Of course you do. The purpose of these “Works in Progress” entries is to do just that and to let you know that your friends (and enemies) at 3 Minute Hero Industries are busily working on new songs and bad ideas. You will hear from those of us working on songs as well as those of us who do the recording. You will also hear from anybody you want to, provided you ask the right question. That being said — ask us questions. Here are some lyrical snippets from the libretto of the mysterious “Project X.” What does those that even mean? This is from a song called “Brown Flamingos.” Gross.

Permanent flip-flop tan lines are a sign that you’re doing something right.

Your screws are not too loose; your screws are not too tight.

Don’t be mad at me because I figured it out — I don’t want to fight.

A lot of my songs have the word “flip-flop” in them, which leads me to believe that I have spent an inordinate amount of time this past decade looking &/or thinking about my feet and my choice of footwear. This is a welcome diversion as most of the songs I write are either about food or animals (sometimes, when serendipity intervenes, the songs are about food AND animals). Speaking of food, I had a dream that I was on a pontoon boat wearing a fur coat, and eating tapioca that was coming out of a beer keg. That dream was much better than the one I keep having about the millipedes. That’s another song for another night. Where was I? Here’s a snippet from the bridge of a song called “Firefly.” It’s about Our Hero who falls in love with an(other) arsonist and his all-consuming worry that she won’t love him if he gives up his life of matches and gasoline.

Jumbo jet whispers and thunder lizard serenades

And other things that chase away the blues —

Like sitting on my couch watching “Dog the Bounty Hunter,”

Just trying to get through February — without pills and booze

While remembering that the second best revenge is living well.

Just after torching his Escalade and telling his kids that he can burn.

In hell.

Well isn’t that a happy slice? Would you like some ice cream with that? Thank you and have a lovely evening.

-Jeff

 

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2011 Jeff Nelson