[Exclusive!] 3 Minute Hero Releases Set List for 2014 Shows!

Set I

1. I Enjoy Making Juice

2. Codpiece Majesty

3. Arbor Day

3. B. I’m Pretty Sure I Sold Your Cat

4. Vulcanized Condom Room

5. I Wish I Was Mike Singletary

6. Enormous Cat

7. Custard-Filled Long John

8. Tarantula Orangutan

9. Droid Boutique

10. Sideshow Freaks on Penny-Farthings

11. Street Nun

12. We’re So Sad That Our Urge To Urinate is Non-Existent

13. Kingsblood Royal

13. B. Main Street

14. Major Rhubarb

15. Some Bullshit Song About Feelings (We Finally Caved!)

16. Does This Smell Like Graham Crackers? (Pts. 1 & 2)

17. A Medley of the Four Remaining Scofflaws Songs We Haven’t Yet Covered

18. Lowrider

19. Muskrat Love

20. Paul Improvising While the Rest of Us Make Omelets on Stage


Set II

Set two will be identical to set one, but since everybody in the band is now in at least one country band, we will sing this set’s verses in Greek and its choruses in Hebrew. In addition to this change, we will also all be playing guitars and wearing skintight daredevil jumpsuits emblazoned with symbols typically associated with the United States of America. At the end of the set, we will anesthetize a large (but friendly) Alaskan Wolfhound and shave it completely. Members of the audience may then file onto stage and help themselves to sushi rolls that have been laid out upon the sleeping dog’s side. The sushi rolls will be filled with sugared breakfast cereals to symbolize the mind/body dichotomy.



We will remove Jay’s little toe using fishing line and prayer. We will replace it with one I have fashioned from parts of an HP Officejet 6500 and some baby carrots.