Works in Progress #8: Crazy Uncle

I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS AND IN BOLD. CAN YOU IMAGINE ME SPEAKING LOUDLY WITH NO INFLECTION? I CAN. BELOW, PLEASE FIND THE LYRICS TO THE SONG “CRAZY UNCLE” — SONG THREE OF OUR FORTHCOMING CONCEPT DOUBLE-ALBUM TENTATIVELY TITLED “JOURNEY OF THE HERO: JUMBO-JET WHISPERS & THUNDER-LIZARD SERENADES.” INITIATE LYRIC TEXT IN 3…2…1…

He’s mixing margaritas (it’s not even noon)

It’s not even eleven (but it will be soon)

He’s not your dad — he’s your crazy uncle.

He asks, “Hey, what’s the matter?” (“The pool’s closed, man.”)

He waves you and your friends (to his Econoline van)

With the moon-shaped windows — he’s your crazy uncle.

Shake and bake, yeah.

To the lake, yeah.

They’re calling him “Presidente” (and fetching him beer)

The girls in bikinis (are whispering in his ear)

He’s a golden god — he’s your crazy uncle.

He’s holding court like a pagan priest behind a wall of flame.

His sunburnt congregation sings when he starts to play…

The you-ka-lay-lay.

Oooo La-di-da (Oh hi-di-hey) Carry forth (Lay-lady-lay) My wayward son (My crazy uncle)

Oooo La-di-da (Oh hi-di-hey) Carry forth (Lay-lady-lay) My wayward son (My crazy uncle)

When you’re out there feeling so all alone,

You probably are, so remember the things that you were shown.

Crazy is the one thing that you can own.

Travel light and don’t carry dead weight:

Bring only what you need.

Sharpen your wits, don’t you dare be late,

Because nothing is guaranteed.

___

Hold my calls…

I’m much too busy polishing the balls on an equestrian statue of Andrew Jackson’s horse.

If you know what I mean.

Things aren’t always quite as they seem,

and so we say, “Thank God.”

___

Oooo La-di-da (Oh hi-di-hey) Carry forth (Lay-lady-lay) My wayward son (My crazy uncle)

Oooo La-di-da (Oh hi-di-hey) Carry forth (Lay-lady-lay) My wayward son (My crazy uncle)

Oooo La-di-da (Oh hi-di-hey) Carry forth (Lay-lady-lay) My wayward son (My crazy uncle)

All of this particular material is copyrighted ©2013 Jeff Nelson.